The Other Side Of Rape!

Being accused of rape is a serious thing. It happened to me 17 years ago and here’s how it happened.

On a warm summers evening in 2001, I was setting up to D.J at my regular Friday night club in Spring Hill. It was another ordinary night, or so I thought. The doors opened at 9:00 PM and around 15 minutes later, some friends popped in with some rather disturbing news. They had been at a party the night before where girl “X” had been telling anyone who would care to listen that I had raped her a few weeks before.

On and off for a couple of months prior, I had been seeing girl “X” on and off. I was 23 at the time, she was 21. It was only ever really casual fun. We’d meet up in random public places and get up to no good. It was fun. It was kinky. It was fucking brilliant if I am being honest. At the same time as seeing me, girl “X” was seeing two of her TAFE lecturers (both men were much older and married) also on a casual basis and she would stay behind after night classes to have her time with them. Girl “X” said she loved the thrill of older men but found me a little more exciting because I was a D.J, youthful and more adventurous. A good ego boost if ever there was one.

The sex was mind blowing on many levels. We both enjoyed the fear of being caught so got up to any number of public and not so public adventures together. I kind of enjoyed hearing about her exploits with other men. I’m just not capable of being a jealous lover.

A few weeks into our “fling”, the phone calls became more regular and girl “X” decided she didn’t want to continue seeing her lecturers because she wanted something more with me. I decided to be honest and confess that I didn’t feel the same way and we kind of went our seperate ways following a few emotional phone calls. I’ve always been a fan of brutal honesty in relationships. Otherwise, people get hurt. Very hurt. Unfortunately, girl “X” didn’t see things this way and began to demand we see each other more. Things got a little uncomfortable so, despite trying to reason numerous times, I cut off all contact with girl “X”.

That’s when it all went wrong.

My friends who warned me of the rape accusations mentioned that a few of the “boys” were going to come to the club that night and “sort me out”. By now, I was feeling rather anxious. I’d done absolutely nothing wrong but was somehow about to get my head kicked in. The whole night was full of many emotions. It came and went without incident however, the following few weeks had me full of fear and dread. You see, accusing someone of rape is a serious offence and mud often sticks regardless of how much truth there are to such accusations. Finally, after one too many sleepless nights, I decided to act and went to the police.

Those who genuinely know me will understand that I like to take to a task head on.

I went to my local Police station and was allowed time with a lovely young female Constable and a senior male detective who gave me a few moments of their time to hear me out. A good half hour later, I departed the station having given an informal statement of sorts and was advised they would follow up with some enquiries and get back to if anything popped up. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I received a call from the detective to advise me that girl “X” had lodged a “number” of complaints against a “number” of men in the previous 4 years. All of which had turned out to be baseless accusations that amounted to exactly zilch. It turns out, the young and perhaps, frustrated girl “X” didn’t handle rejection too easily from people. The relief I felt at this news is impossible to describe. My life could have been destroyed beyond repair by a selfish, heartless and cruel young woman who appeared to have no sense of decency.

What girl “X” did was take away an ability for other defenceless victims of sexual assaults be taken seriously. Her selfish actions hurt and damage the credibility of genuine victims.

From that day on, I have always tried to look at both sides of the coin regardless of the circumstances involved. Not every girl who cries rape is being honest just as not every man who denies rape is being honest. It’s always going to be a very grey area however, when a woman falsely accuses any man of rape and is found to be lying, she should face the exact same harsh penalties as the despicable men who intentionally go out of their way to take a woman’s self respect away.

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Born and raised in Sydney. Well travelled. I have a deep love for live theatre, music and the arts. Ohh, I may also have a deep love for Liverpool Football Club!

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