Sex, Food & The Hostel Lifestyle

One of the best ways to keep your travel costs to a minimum is by staying in hostels around the world.  OK, sometimes I might splurge on a hotel to give myself some privacy (and comfort) but hotels cost a bomb when you are travelling as much as I tend to and I’m not rich in the financial sense that’s for sure and certain. Hotels can also be hit and miss, more often a hit for the hip pocket I must say.


Recently, whilst staying in London, I found myself on the third stack of a bunk bed.  It was so high off the ground! Years ago, it would not have been a problem however, these days it can be a bit of a struggle to get up and down due to my body getting slower with age. Hell, I’m only verging on 40 so why is it a problem for my little (old) bones?  How many 40 year olds do you see in hostels?  Not many and there is a reason why. The younger crowd can driver you proper bonkers when you need some rest. The kids might be able to get drunk most nights and live off 2 hours sleep but grumpy old buggers like me need their 8 hours. Ha ha!


Sex is a glorious thing.  It’s my favourite hobby (when I can actually get it) but when was the last time you heard a 19 year old boy trying to get it up after a boozy night out with his new erm, “friend”?  Sex whilst drunk can be tricky.  But trolleyed sex on a squeaky old single bed in a hostel?  And in a busy room?  It just doesn’t seem too much of a good idea with age and hindsight. Not to say I am a prude as such. I am a bit of a dirty bastard at the best of times But hostel shagging is well and truly behind me. Well, there was this one time with a Dutch girl in Liverpool.  Before I knew it, the other two guys in the room, German I think from memory joined in.  But that’s for another blog entry?Maybe?

Anyway, what I am trying to explain is that sex in hostel dorms is normally a daft idea.  And nobody really wants to hear it when they are not getting it. If only I had headed my own advice all those years ago.


A great idea is to always read hostel reviews.  You may think you have got a great deal but often there is a valid reason why that bed is only £5 for the night.  Once such occasion in Europe, I got myself what I thought was a bargain.  Turns out my dorm room had 20 beds in it and was a male only dorm to boot!  Imagine the smell and sounds with 20 grubby travelling blokes?  Yeah, you get the picture.

On the plus side, my current room in Barcelona is delicious on many levels.  It’s clean, spacious, has lockers, very comfy beds, a clothes drying rack for towels, a couch and a table to munch my food from.  All for 23 Euro’s a night too!  Perfect.  Well, the noise from the main road is a bit of a let down hence me writing this entry at 3;47 am!  If only I had remembered the ear plugs right?


Anothef huge plus of hostels is the ability to buy your own food and store it in a fridge.  When living the hotel lifestyle you can eat out or order room service.  Both options can get very expensive.  On the flip side to this, there is sometimes a bell end who will have the audacity to eat the last of your cheese or drink your milk just when you need it most.  Fuckers!

Will I still be staying in hostels when I am 60? I doubt it but as they say, you never quite know?

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Born and raised in Sydney. Well travelled. I have a deep love for live theatre, music and the arts. Ohh, I may also have a deep love for Liverpool Football Club!

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